| Two weeks of non-stop convention partying ended last night with the DNC's last call in Philadelphia. |
| It was closing time, as Democrats opened all doors and let their delegates into the world. Closing time, as organizers turned the lights up over every Bernie bro and Hillary girl. Closing time, one last call for alcohol as Megyn Kelly finished her beer at the CNN Grill. Closing time, Democrats didn't have to go home, but they couldn't stay there. |
| It's the general election, America: Do you know who you want to take you home? |
| Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump think they're sober enough to drive, and we have roughly three months to hand over the keys. It's For the Record, the politics and '90s rock-referencing newsletter from USA TODAY. |
| So much shattered glass everywhere. Is this safe? |
| Hillary Clinton shattered her party's glass ceiling Tuesday when Democrats named her their nominee. And on Thursday, she walked barefoot all over that glass like a gender-swapped John McClane in "Die Hard." |
| "Powerful forces are threatening to pull us apart," Clinton said, adding that "bonds of trust and respect are fraying" and Americans "have to decide whether we will all work together so we can all rise together." |
| Clinton framed America as facing "a moment of reckoning" over major issues, including Donald Trump. She blasted Trump continually throughout the speech, and we collected our favorite zingers. Here's a sampling: |
| "Do you really think Donald Trump has the temperament to be Commander-in-Chief? Donald Trump can't even handle the rough-and-tumble of a presidential campaign." |
| "A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons." |
| "(Trump) spoke for 70 odd minutes and I do mean odd." |
| After the nearly hour-long speech, the celebratory balloons fell. And it was fun and hilarious. |
| One (more) clusterfudge of a convention |
| Democrats' convention, like Republicans' the week before, was a dysfunctional circus that shaped up into something resembling OK. |
| To recap, here's what happened: |
| • | Monday, Day 1: The constant boos of Bernie Bros permeated the Wells Fargo Center following the leak of emails showing the Democratic Party favored Clinton and tried to undercut Sanders' campaign. The party's chair, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, announced she would resign after the convention. When the convention kicked off, she was nowhere in sight. The DNC said it was sorry for getting caught. And as Sanders supporters wept as though at a funeral, he told them "Hillary Clinton must become the next president of the United States." | | • | Tuesday, Day 2: Democrats nominated a woman for president, the first of any major party to do so. Bill Clinton honored the moment with a 45-minute speech that lovingly unfurled their relationship year by year (sans 1998, some noted). Before Sanders urged the convention to declare Clinton the nominee, he fought back tears as his brother cast his vote for him. | | • | Wednesday, Day 3: Barack Obama passed the party baton to Clinton, the same one he snatched from her in '08, in a speech that stressed hope and optimism for America while saying "there has never been a man or a woman more qualified than Hillary Clinton to serve as president." Tim Kaine, Clinton's VP pick, gave a speech that sounded not unlike two stale slices of white bread, slathered in mayonnaise, slowly squishing together. | |
| More from the floor |
| • | New poll: Clinton tops Trump in battleground Pennsylvania (USA TODAY) | | • | What a twist! Gary Johnson, in seersucker jacket, says Mitt might endorse him (USA TODAY) | | • | Suprise! Melania Trump is involved in something kind of shady (USA TODAY) | | • | It never ends: Wannabe Obamas try to charm Dems ahead of 2020, 2024 (USA TODAY) | | • | Americans furiously Google "voter registration" amid DNC (USA TODAY) | |
| Biased media distorts truth about Obama's almonds |
| Remember earlier this month when the New York Times reported that Obama kept himself jacked late at night on precisely "seven lightly salted almonds" and made us all feel like flabby fatsos? Well, Obama set the record straight on #Almondgate Thursday, revealing the media's anti-almond bias and distortion. |
| "All my friends were calling me up and saying this seems a little anal, this is a little weird, and I had to explain to them, no, this was a joke,'' said Obama, who gushed that he'd "absolutely" indulge in 10 or 11 almonds after he leaves office. |
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