For the Record: How does one become a one-horse country

View this email in your browser Brought to you by USATODAY.com Happy Friday, For the Record peeps! It's a magical time in FTR Land. The Iowa caucuses are only days away. We watched the last debate before said caucuses. Ben Carson somehow fit both the Preamble to the Constitution and the words "one-horse country" into a mere two-hour time period. JIM GILMORE SHOWED UP TO SOMETHING. We can hardly contain ourselves. Lean into our excitement and let us be there for you six days a week. After all, the fun's just beginning. #GILMENTUM Jim Gilmore has been basically MIA since August, leaving us to wonder so very often why he's even bothering to run for president at all (though, to be fair, we wonder that about nearly everyone who has been relegated to the happy hour debate). Now we know why: because he knew his moment would come. It happened on Thursday when he got to pull an O'Malley and talk about issues and, for the briefest of moments, trend on Twitter. Of course, life is fleeting. But we'll never forget, Jim (and neither will this guy; that's one vote, right?). In other undercard news: Carly Fiorina is still hating on Hillary Clinton, Mike Huckabee doesn't think his message is getting out and Rick Santorum has nothing better to do on a Thursday night than hang out at a rival's event. GHOST TRUMP LOOMS OVER PEOPLE WHO SHOWED UP In the real world, when you don't show up to something, whatever it is usually doesn't work out for you. Examples: If you don't show up to a doctor's appointment, you have to pay a cancellation fee. If you don't show up to work, you'll probably get fired. If you don't show up for a date, you're flaky. As we learned on Thursday night, real world logic does not apply to Donald Trump.  He made good on his promise to be a no-show at the #GOPDebate . The result: Everyone was talking about him and his proposed policies, directly and indirectly. "Let me say, I'm a maniac, and everyone on this stage is stupid, fat and ugly, and Ben, you're a terrible surgeon. Now that we've got the Donald Trump portion of the way," Ted Cruz said at the start of the debate . And on it went. Funnily enough, take away all the Trump remarks, and you get a Twilight Zone version of what the world could have been like had the Donald never entered the race. In that alternate reality, Jeb(!) Bush is surprised he's not winning and everyone hates Cruz the most. MEANWHILE, A FEW MILES AWAY... The Donald held his rival event, a benefit for veterans that would have looked like a typical Trump event on any other night . The crowds flocked to him, he made disparaging remarks about whoever was on his current target list (this week: Fox News) and he played it all off like it was NBD. One difference: he invited fellow GOP candidates Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum onstage, saying that they weren't like the others. It probably helps that neither of the men have any chance of being the Donald. Hugs for all! MORE FROM THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, THE MOSTLY #GOPDEBATE EDITION • Someone had to challenge the moderators • Time to learn the definition of the word "amnesty" • Rubio and Cruz duke it out over national security • What exactly is "one-horse country" • Sanders for president of Sweden! • BTW, Hillary was in Iowa, too WASHINGTON-TO-ENGLISH BUSINESS PLAN After Chris Christie's claim that he simply can't understand Washington, the one-third of FTR that lives in the District of Columbia wonders if she's missed her calling as a translator. More on this possible business to come. Thank you for subscribing to the . Got some feedback, a tip or just want to say hello? Email us at newsletters@e.usatoday.com. USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Satellite Information Network, Inc. Unsubscribe from the Why did I get this? Update my subscription preferences USA TODAY 7950 Jones Branch Drive McLean, VA 22102

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